Belief is defined as “a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing,” according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary. When you are confident in something, you become certain. When you are certain, you are undoubtedly calm. Without trust, we do not have the power to be calm.
During the remainder of 2017, it was tough for me to be relaxed. I did not think I was going to get better in the timeframe the doctors set because my overbearing fatigue and queasiness took control of my mood. I had forgotten what it felt like to be healthy. And on top of that, my hair kept falling out in clumps. This made me insecure.
I started to develop a victim mentality. Because I was seeing my appearance change right before my eyes, I believed I was dying. Cancer took away the Alexa I knew and left me staring at the reflection of a stranger in the mirror.
With courage, I remembered the reason I lost control of my appearance. It was because I was actually getting healthy. The toxicity of chemotherapy was working, and the cancer cells within me were slowly dying from the poison. Reversing my judgment allowed me to embrace my bald head. This was my opportunity to let the world know that I was a fighter.
Shortly after, I decided to walk to a local barbershop to shave off my remaining locks. “I need to get a buzz cut,” I told the manager. Puzzled and in shock, he sat me down in a chair. “I am going through chemotherapy and started to lose my hair, so I need you to shave off everything,” I said. I started to feel empowered. A little while later, I walked out onto the streets of Manhattan confidently sporting my newly bald head.
Because I changed my initial insecure beliefs, I began to persevere. I felt like a rock star with conviction. I started to collect photos of women who rocked my hairstyle to inspire me to believe that I could also rock it as well. I made this an opportunity to have fun with my new appearance.I started to believe that I was made to rock this hairstyle and have fun with it. I wore more makeup than usual and tons of jewelry. I wanted to look chic like Amber Rose and bold like Jessie J.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself when I started to lose all of my hair, I took it as an opportunity to lift my spirits and find the positive. Another extraordinary example of someone who I interviewed for my book is from Grace Wethor, an actress, dancer, and model from Minnesota. After she was diagnosed with brain stem glioma, a brain tumor in the pons, she was given an 8 percent survival rate for the upcoming six months. She decided to take this as an opportunity to believe in the unimaginable. She moved to Los Angeles to pursue modeling and acting and has now been striving and living her dream life years later.
See, never doubt your beliefs. Even the impossible can be possible. Just have faith.
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